Off To See My Father, The Wonderful Father of Me

I am off to see my Father. He is 82 and has been living alone since my mother died almost three years ago. As a man primarily focused on working, he depended on my mother for her socializing influence. When she died, most of his social activity died with her and slowly he became completely alone, except for irregular interactions with his three children, since the closest is still 30 minutes away. So visiting had to be on purpose.

We are not sure whether his forgetfulness is approaching dementia or just the problems of being too much alone. You see, when someone spends a few days with him, he seems to remember everything just fine, as long as he is engaged. Whatever the problem, he doesn’t want to be alone any more, so my sister, her husband, and one son who is still in high school are going to move in with him. In order to do that, there is a lot of work that needs to be done on the old homestead, including a completely new kitchen and shared bathroom, along with new floors, windows and other necessary renovations and upgrades to a house built in the 60’s.

Having been a building contractor for close to twenty years before I changed my focus to writing, I am taking four to six weeks to help them get the work done prior to their moving in. As a result, my blogging will be lot less regular over that time period. This will give me a chance to spend some real time with my dad, as well as be an opportunity to get into a regular pattern of exercise—he power walks every day and is as physically fit a man as I have ever seen for his age. He plans on walking me into the ground. So be it and good for me.

Please keep my father and me in your prayers and remember me to that former carpenter from Nazareth as I try to resurrect my carpentry skills. Grace and peace.

  3 comments for “Off To See My Father, The Wonderful Father of Me

  1. October 3, 2005 at 9:23 am

    Ah, they call us the “sandwich generation” but each generation since Adam’s children had children, have been “sandwich” generations.

    Caring for our parents, caring for our children – that’s what we do isn’t it? There for a few years, it was WILD around our house. Now, our boys are (mostly) grown – 1 married and 1 in college – my Mother passed away in January 2004, and my husband’s mother is in the nursing home in the later stages of Alzheimer’s.

    So, that leaves my Dad and my Father-in-law. Daddy has lung cancer and needs a lot of care. My Father-in-law just has a serious case of stubbornness. He’s 87, but is DETERMINED to be in “control.” We actually moved in with him at one point to take care of him, but do to how he wanted to control us, we moved back out.

    Now, we’re just around to “wait for the crash, and pick up the pieces.”

    Fortunately, I am self-employed, and my boss is very understanding 🙂

    But, it is not easy…

    My prayers will be with you.

    Betty

  2. October 3, 2005 at 11:22 am

    Your dad sounds a lot like mine–powerwalking and everything.

    Fortunately my sister lives within powerwalking distance and he powerwalks down for supper with her and her children every night.

  3. October 3, 2005 at 7:57 pm

    Well, I say enjoy yourself and the time with your family!

    I think maybe your father forgets things because he just might not be getting enough interaction, and therefore, stimulation. No matter how much reading, running around, et cetera one does, I think hanging out with and interacting with other people does us a lot more good than we realize. Even just chatting for a few minutes with the cashier at a store on a day I’ve spent entirely alone, without other ‘real live person’ interaction, really boosts me!

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