Lent: Day Twenty-eight-S

Sunday: rest, recovery, prayer, and planning. Next week is Palm Sunday and we will be in Las Vega, euphemistically called “sin city” but not to be confused with the new movie by that name soon to hit the megaplexes. We are looking for a place to go to church (suggestions anyone?). We have friends who live in Henderson and may be able to attend with them, but just in case if you know a good place for a liturgy-loving Anglican to attend on Palm Sunday, let me know.

Reassessment continues. With that in mind, I have been watching a history of St. Patrick that I TIVO’d. Little is known about Patrick beyond his own limited writings, though that hasn’t stopped legend from embellishing his biography. Most of all, I was taken by how deeply he committed the course of his life to God’s will and plan and how undeserving he felt of even the most meager of blessings. I contrast that with my own needs and how I seem to demand so much by “right” as if I had any rights at all other than the rightful necessity to throw myself on God’s mercy every minute of every day in abject appreciation of Christ’s incalculable sacrifice on the cross.

Whenever I read the words of Christian saints from earlier times, born out by the lives they lived (such as Patrick), I am awed and depressed. Awed that people were able to sustain such humility and dependence on God through thick and thin, depressed at my veniality and apparent inability to sustain even a minimal prayer and study life by comparison. At one time I aspired to be like James and John in boldness, now I feel fortunate that I might make it through the door naked and still smoking (1 Corinthians 3:15).

It is a strange disconnect at times trying to contend for the faith once delivered while at the same time feeling unworthy for its sacredness to even cross your lips; to being bold enough to approach the throne of grace while at the same time feeling wretched and at best a worm barely able to make it past the hedgerow and into the marriage feast. Talk about angst…

Lord have mercy; Christ have mercy; Lord have mercy.

And Nick Queen thinks he has problems…

Grace and peace be you this day as you contemplate the absolute mercy of the lovingkindness of God and when you have a moment, say a prayer or two for Nick.