Last week it was 78.5 hours. The week before 79.5. This weekend I will put in at least 16 hours this weekend to begin the week.
I am learning things about myself. Stress, and this is real stress, exposes all manner of weaknesses. Physically, I am responding well except for my blood pressure, for which I am taking Hawthorne. I have to remember to take it or my pressure gets above 150/90. I never had high blood pressure before this job or for that matter this much sustained stress.
Emotionally and spiritually I can see the fraying also. I am snappy when I don’t want to be and God gets more distant when the pressure and demands fill your whole vision of this moment of life.
Yet, God will use this too to mold my vessel, of that I am certain. One thing it is demanding above all is more organization in my life, better utilization of resources, especially time. Time is one resource we tend to take for granted, especially when we are younger. That is an illussion. Each moment, each second, could be our last. However, rather than being honest with ourselves and spending our time wisely, we look at the potential, which usually appears hugh, and spend it like someone with excessive money who does not look at the price, only what they want. That can be extremely wasteful and lead to very bad decisions because we eroneously think we have resources (time, money, health, etc.) to waste. Passing time is wasting time, while recovering by relaxing is not, just to point out an obvious example. But the larger question is whether we have the right to “waste” anything. What say you God?
As we get older, especially when we approach the last quarter of your life, the pressure to look at how we are spending our resources gets stronger. However, most of us don’t respond. We would rather remain oblivous until suddenly the clock stops and the accounting is due.
Parableman has an article on political correctness and epistemic understanding and priviledge, which basically means that someone experiencing something has insight someone who is not experiencing it lacks. My counter is that most of that espistemic zeitgeist is lost. Most people do not take advantage of the learning moment, letting it slip by, either afraid to face the music or they are too lazy or disinterested to seize the opportunity. They waste the opportunity, one that they may never have again.
I pray that doesn’t happen to me. These current events, demands, stresses are a unique learning opportunity that I pray I gain the most from, on every level. With that in mind, I covet your prayers along those lines. Please pray that the espistemic zeitgeist of my current situation results in significant spiritual growth and that God uses every ounce of stress and pressure to successfully mold my vessel to his specifications. It is what I seek; I pray it is what I do.
With that in mind, God bless you this Lord’s Day and may whatever God is doing in your life bear the intended fruit, which I pray is nourishing both to you and those around you. May you always seize the espistemic zeitgeist. Amen.